We all know the feeling. It’s juicy and it’s hard to resist: gossip. Repeating a funny story or roasting an ex-friend – whether on social media or in person – is tempting and a lot of fun. But have you ever been on the receiving end? Have you ever laughed at some banter, but felt really uncomfortable or even hurt inside?
Jewish law recognises the power of speech and how negative words can hurt people deeply. It is human nature to want to poke fun at others. If we make someone else seem smaller it can make us feel bigger – a distorted and toxic way to try to build our own self-esteem. But because it’s much easier to push others down than to genuinely build ourselves up, we are naturally drawn to gossip . It’s even more tempting when others are different from our social group or gossiping will make us feel a stronger social identity.
The Torah recognises that speaking positively takes a lot of effort. The Hebrew phrase “Lashon Hora” refers to any negative speech about other people, even if what you say is true. We are encouraged to avoid “Lashon Hora” as much as we can and to learn about what types of speech will build others rather than destroy them. The laws of Lashon Hora are intricate. For example, there are several legitimate reasons why you need to speak about something negative that a person has done. If the behaviour makes people feel unsafe in any way, it is the responsible and correct thing to do to tell someone who can help. But if you receive a faulty product is it ok to leave a negative review about it, or would this be Lashon Hora? If you post a comment on someone’s status that can be understood sarcastically, is this Lashon Hora? There are many grey areas which is why it’s important to give this topic more thought.
Social media is full of it. Newspapers thrive on it. We all delight in it. But is it the way to build a kind and trustworthy society? Or can we channel our powerful ability to talk into something that can build a better world. So next time, before you roll your eyes and whisper that juicy bit of gossip to your friend- think about Lashon Hora. Say something nice instead.
